Powering Through and High-Functioning Burnout: The Hidden Cost of Staying Strong

Key Activation #29: You’ve Been Taught to Power Through - But At What Cost?

Have you ever powered through pain, stress, a tough day… or even a tough year - only to realize later that you felt emptier afterward?

Not relieved.

Not proud.

Just… depleted.

Most women I work with know exactly what that feels like.

Because powering through is something we’re praised for early on.

You show up.

You handle it.

You don’t fall apart.

You keep going.

And let’s be clear - functioning isn’t wrong.

Routine can be grounding.

Work can provide structure.

Responsibility can keep us anchored when life feels unstable.

But here’s the part no one ever taught us to question:

👉 Are we taking care of our inner world, or just managing the outer one?

Those are not the same thing.

And this is where “powering through” quietly becomes something else.

When Powering Through Turns Into Self-Abandonment

I know this not from theory, but from lived experience.

Thirty years ago, I got the call that my husband had passed away very suddenly and tragically - just days after his birthday and the day before mine. Sadly, his mother's husband passed away at the same time while trying to save him.

The morning of my birthday, I still went to work.

On the outside, it looked responsible.

It looked strong.

It looked like I was coping.

Inside, I was in shock.

A friend quietly poured Baileys into my coffee. Later, beer. Then mixed drinks after work. Not because I didn’t care about myself - but because numbing was the only form of care I knew.

I knew how to keep going.

I knew how to avoid what I was carrying.

What I didn’t know was how to stop and tend to my inner world without checking out.

That distinction matters.

Because avoidance doesn’t always look like falling apart.

Very often, it looks like productivity.

It looks like being “strong.”

It looks like staying busy and pushing through. And over time, that creates a pattern.

What began as shock eventually became a pattern.
I learned how to function, perform, and keep going - without ever fully tending to myself.

That’s what high-functioning burnout actually is: life continues, responsibilities are met, and from the outside everything looks fine, while inside, you’re slowly disconnecting from yourself.

What We’re Filled With Is What Spills Out

Here’s the universal truth most people never hear:

Whatever you’re filled with is what spills out - especially when life falls apart.

Not on calm days.

Not when everything feels manageable.

But when something real happens:

a breakup

a death

a job loss

a season where everything feels heavier than usual.

That’s when your survival system takes over.

And it doesn’t ask what you wish you would do -

It pulls from what you’ve practiced - what you filled yourself up with before the shit hit fan.

That’s why some women push harder.

Some shut down.

Some stay busy.

Some numb.

Some put themselves last - again.

Not because they’re broken. But because that’s how they learned to survive.

5 Truths Most Women Aren’t Taught About Powering Through

1. Powering through can support the outer you while neglecting the inner you. You can keep life moving and still be emotionally disconnected.

2. Avoidance doesn’t mean weakness - it means you weren’t taught how to pause safely. Most of us were taught endurance, not inner care.

3. Numbing is often disguised as coping. And it’s usually socially acceptable - until it isn’t.

4. Your survival system pulls from what you practice daily - again what you fill yourself up with. When the pressure hits, you don’t rise to intention - you fall back on familiarity.

5. Self-care isn’t indulgence. It’s preparedness. It determines how you treat yourself when life demands everything and can prevent self disconnect and abandonment - and in turn - burnout.

A Gentler and Stronger Way Forward

Decades later - and yes, a wall full of certifications later - this is what I know for sure:

Self-care isn’t about stopping our life.
It’s about staying connected inside it.

It’s not something you earn once you’ve handled everything.
It’s what allows you to handle things without abandoning yourself in the process.

I’ve studied the tools.
I’ve taught the practices.
I’ve guided other women through them.

But this understanding didn’t come from textbooks alone.

It came from learning - the hard way - that you can keep functioning…
and still be quietly disappearing inside.

If I had known then what I know now, I wouldn’t have tried to outrun my pain.
I wouldn’t have confused productivity with healing.
I wouldn’t have believed that staying busy meant I was “taking care of myself.”

I would have known how to function and tend to myself at the same time.

That’s the piece most of us were never taught.

That’s why I created The Self Love Key.

Not as another thing to add to your already full plate.
Not as a feel-good idea or a fluffy self-care concept.

But as a way to build inner capacity - the kind that holds you steady when life inevitably falls apart, so you don’t disappear from your own experience just to survive it.

A Soft Invitation

If this resonates…
If you recognize yourself in the pattern of powering through…
If you’re realizing that “keeping it together” has been costing you more than you thought…

And if you want to learn how to fill your cup before the shit hits the fan - or if you want to fill yourself back up once it did -

That’s exactly why The Self Love Key exists.

Not to fix you.
But to help you stay with yourself - even when things get hard.

💬 Let me ask you this ...: What do you tend to default to when life gets hard? You don’t need to fix it. You just need to notice it. And that’s where real change begins.